I’m sitting at the airport… the San Diego International Airport… and I’m by myself.. I’m excited, freaking out (first flight on my own), headachey… but not nervous anymore.. I think the hardest part is the fact that I will be away from my family for more than a day… 4days to be exact… but everything is ok because i’ll be home before I know it…
I know I can count on my friends to be there for the special moments in life… to be there when I need them… sometimes I just I wasn’t limited to that
CORRECTION, you need one.
No u have some serious problems, I never said that.. ur starting to hear things…
Everyone hear you say it!
Well I’m not going to apologize for something I didn’t say…
I don’t care if you apologize anymore… I don’t care any more…
Well you don’t need to care.
* the words say you don’t care, but the tears say a different story
I stared into his black hole eyes, vision from another dimension, an endless abyss of wisdom. He spoke to me words I only now perceive.
He said: The world is simultaneously the past and future. Dinosaur dreams still live within us. We still strive for that. If we all become equal then we will have no way to blame who is controlling us. Evil has no meaning. You can do what you want and make whatever fanciful justifications up later. Our minds feel the need to create a ladder to make us feel higher than we are.
I said: No man evil happened when people decided there was no evil. It’s our stone to stand on, and Good will be that star to reach to?
Well where are you going?
Heaven I guess. Aren’t we all bound to become better versions of ourselves? Aren’t we growing?
How are you to know what better means? How were you told what better means? Do you know what it means to grow?
Well I think you have to find the definition for yourself
Wise words my friend. But what about the desire for a improved and healthier life? You can’t deny the will to live.
I know money is not a key to happiness.
But money is a key to survival. You know not how fragile your house is you sits on.
So are you saying I should pursue material wealth?
No I’m saying you should pursue control
Power, power corrupts.
Only power overused, that’s corruption. True power is control of the power itself
Hmm. That makes out, but what of a life lived well?
What about a life lived short? You have to choose you see. Do you want to live well or safe? It is perhaps impossible to attain both for that would be heaven. So simple. And curse us when we get there! For we will still not be happy. It’s all relativity you see. The whole shebang.
No! No! No! There is something more. There has to be!
There always will be you see?…
…Now what?
Nothing you weren’t going to do already
Wow so now I have no free will?
When you stop trying to free your will, it will be free. Your story lives in your heart and fear in your mind. They fight. When you stop thinking about aligning them it will be. From here you will do as you please. Have fun :)
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I have no memory of writing this.
(via ourworldupsidedown)
to learning.”
Becoming more aware of your current state of mind makes you become paranoid of the thoughts and sensations that are becoming more obvious. The awarness comes with voices that resemble insanity. Voices laughing at you, telling you that something is wrong. The awareness makes you sensitive to all experiences, you remember things a lot more clearly… Awareness is awakening.
My head is like a world unkown, because it even surprises me…
My head is sometimes a world of pain, deep rooted memories that grip to my soul and wont let go…
My head is sometimes a world of confusion, twists and turns, and mazes, where I cannot find what I’m looking for in the millions of file cabinets I have…
My head is sometimes a world of love, with no boundaries as to how to show it…
My head is sometimes a world of joy, happiness that reaches accross the lands and brings sunshine to those who cannot see past the rain…
My head is a world all its own… Created by me to give me comfort, because in my head I can choose order or chaos… love or hate.. white or black… In my head I can always choose.
